If you need a laugh, then read through these Children's Science Exam
answers. Enjoy
Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.
Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to
drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large
pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.
Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.
Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
A: Keep it in the cow.
Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water
tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon,
and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.
Q: What are steroids?
A: Things for keeping carpets still on the stairs.
Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.
Q: What happens to a boy when he reaches puberty?
A: He says good-bye to his boyhood and looks forward to his adultery.
Q: Name a major disease associated with cigarettes.
A: Premature death.
Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? (e.g., abdomen.)
A: The body is consisted into three parts - the brainium, the borax,
and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax
contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the
five bowels, A, E, I, O, and U.
Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.
Q: What does "varicose" mean?
A: Nearby.
Q: Give the meaning of the term "Caesarean Section"
A: The Caesarean Section is a district in Rome.
Q: What does the word "benign" mean?'
A: Benign is what you will be after you be eight.
Bill
Need a laugh?
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Bill from WA
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Need a laugh?
Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is like a broken winged bird that cannot fly.
Langston Hughes
Langston Hughes
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Bill from WA
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One more chuckle.
YOUR BASIC BAPTIST BATHROOM
A very proper lady began planning a week's camping vacation for her and her Baptist Church group. She wrote to a campground for reservations. She wanted to make sure that the campground was fully equipped and modern, but couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. So, she decided on the old-fashioned term "Bathroom Commode." Once written down she still was not comfortable. Finally she decided on the abbreviation "B.C." and wrote, "does your campground have its own "B.C.?"
When the campground owner received the letter, he couldn't figure out what she meant by "B.C." He showed it to several of the campers, one of whom suggested the lady was obviously referring to a Baptist Church since there was a letterhead on the paper which referred to a Baptist Church. So he sent this reply:
Dear Madam:
The B.C. is located nine miles from the camp ground in a beautiful grove of trees. I admit it is quite a distance if you are in the habit of going regularly. No doubt you will be pleased to know that it will seat 350 people at one time, and it is open on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday of each week. Some folks like to take their lunch and make a day of it.
The acoustics are very good, so everyone can hear even the quietest passages. It may interest you to know that my daughter met her husband there. We are also having a fund-raiser to purchase new seats, as the old ones have holes in them. Unfortunately my wife is ill and has not been able to attend regularly. It's been a good six months since she last went. It pains her very much not to be able to go more often. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, especially in cold weather.
Perhaps I could accompany you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks who will be there. I look forward to your visit. We offer a very friendly campground.
YOUR BASIC BAPTIST BATHROOM
A very proper lady began planning a week's camping vacation for her and her Baptist Church group. She wrote to a campground for reservations. She wanted to make sure that the campground was fully equipped and modern, but couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. So, she decided on the old-fashioned term "Bathroom Commode." Once written down she still was not comfortable. Finally she decided on the abbreviation "B.C." and wrote, "does your campground have its own "B.C.?"
When the campground owner received the letter, he couldn't figure out what she meant by "B.C." He showed it to several of the campers, one of whom suggested the lady was obviously referring to a Baptist Church since there was a letterhead on the paper which referred to a Baptist Church. So he sent this reply:
Dear Madam:
The B.C. is located nine miles from the camp ground in a beautiful grove of trees. I admit it is quite a distance if you are in the habit of going regularly. No doubt you will be pleased to know that it will seat 350 people at one time, and it is open on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday of each week. Some folks like to take their lunch and make a day of it.
The acoustics are very good, so everyone can hear even the quietest passages. It may interest you to know that my daughter met her husband there. We are also having a fund-raiser to purchase new seats, as the old ones have holes in them. Unfortunately my wife is ill and has not been able to attend regularly. It's been a good six months since she last went. It pains her very much not to be able to go more often. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, especially in cold weather.
Perhaps I could accompany you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks who will be there. I look forward to your visit. We offer a very friendly campground.
Bill
YOUR BASIC BAPTIST BATHROOM
A very proper lady began planning a week's camping vacation for her and her Baptist Church group. She wrote to a campground for reservations. She wanted to make sure that the campground was fully equipped and modern, but couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. So, she decided on the old-fashioned term "Bathroom Commode." Once written down she still was not comfortable. Finally she decided on the abbreviation "B.C." and wrote, "does your campground have its own "B.C.?"
When the campground owner received the letter, he couldn't figure out what she meant by "B.C." He showed it to several of the campers, one of whom suggested the lady was obviously referring to a Baptist Church since there was a letterhead on the paper which referred to a Baptist Church. So he sent this reply:
Dear Madam:
The B.C. is located nine miles from the camp ground in a beautiful grove of trees. I admit it is quite a distance if you are in the habit of going regularly. No doubt you will be pleased to know that it will seat 350 people at one time, and it is open on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday of each week. Some folks like to take their lunch and make a day of it.
The acoustics are very good, so everyone can hear even the quietest passages. It may interest you to know that my daughter met her husband there. We are also having a fund-raiser to purchase new seats, as the old ones have holes in them. Unfortunately my wife is ill and has not been able to attend regularly. It's been a good six months since she last went. It pains her very much not to be able to go more often. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, especially in cold weather.
Perhaps I could accompany you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks who will be there. I look forward to your visit. We offer a very friendly campground.
YOUR BASIC BAPTIST BATHROOM
A very proper lady began planning a week's camping vacation for her and her Baptist Church group. She wrote to a campground for reservations. She wanted to make sure that the campground was fully equipped and modern, but couldn't bring herself to write the word "toilet" in her letter. So, she decided on the old-fashioned term "Bathroom Commode." Once written down she still was not comfortable. Finally she decided on the abbreviation "B.C." and wrote, "does your campground have its own "B.C.?"
When the campground owner received the letter, he couldn't figure out what she meant by "B.C." He showed it to several of the campers, one of whom suggested the lady was obviously referring to a Baptist Church since there was a letterhead on the paper which referred to a Baptist Church. So he sent this reply:
Dear Madam:
The B.C. is located nine miles from the camp ground in a beautiful grove of trees. I admit it is quite a distance if you are in the habit of going regularly. No doubt you will be pleased to know that it will seat 350 people at one time, and it is open on Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday of each week. Some folks like to take their lunch and make a day of it.
The acoustics are very good, so everyone can hear even the quietest passages. It may interest you to know that my daughter met her husband there. We are also having a fund-raiser to purchase new seats, as the old ones have holes in them. Unfortunately my wife is ill and has not been able to attend regularly. It's been a good six months since she last went. It pains her very much not to be able to go more often. As we grow older, it seems to be more of an effort, especially in cold weather.
Perhaps I could accompany you the first time you go, sit with you, and introduce you to all the other folks who will be there. I look forward to your visit. We offer a very friendly campground.
Bill
Hold fast to dreams, for if dreams die, life is like a broken winged bird that cannot fly.
Langston Hughes
Langston Hughes
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HenriettaVIII
- Suckling
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- Location: on my ass
Re: Need a laugh?
[i]If you need a laugh, then read through these Children's Science Exam answers. Enjoy[/i]
There is no way any kid wrote those jackass answers, unless it happened to be the illegitimate love child of Paula Poundstone and Howie Mandel.
They are much more likely to be serious responses from your average high school student, GED candidate, and/or US naturalization applicant (particularly if they are canadian)...
There is no way any kid wrote those jackass answers, unless it happened to be the illegitimate love child of Paula Poundstone and Howie Mandel.
They are much more likely to be serious responses from your average high school student, GED candidate, and/or US naturalization applicant (particularly if they are canadian)...
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LessIsMore17
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- Contact:
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HenriettaVIII
- Suckling
- Posts: 13
- Joined: Mon Oct 31, 2005 11:25 pm
- Location: on my ass
Speaking of the unintentionally funny....
Vanderbilt University, the Southeastern Conference's only private school, plays the University of Florida this Saturday. Now Vandy has a strong reputation academically and a pretty good reputation for the quality of linebackers it has turned out in the last few years (several have gone to the NFL), so a reporter from the Gainesville Sun posted the question to a University of Florida linebacker as to which were smarter, the linebackers from Vanderbilt University or those from the University of Florida. The reply (which probably answered the question whether the UF guy realized it or not): "I don't know how smart their linebackers is."
Vanderbilt University, the Southeastern Conference's only private school, plays the University of Florida this Saturday. Now Vandy has a strong reputation academically and a pretty good reputation for the quality of linebackers it has turned out in the last few years (several have gone to the NFL), so a reporter from the Gainesville Sun posted the question to a University of Florida linebacker as to which were smarter, the linebackers from Vanderbilt University or those from the University of Florida. The reply (which probably answered the question whether the UF guy realized it or not): "I don't know how smart their linebackers is."
"A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher...You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse." C. S. Lewis
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HenriettaVIII
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- Location: on my ass
Nancy T wrote:You do know this is a discussion forum for thoroughbred horses right? judging from your profile, it looks like you made a wrong turn. Your snotty answer to Bill's light humor was uncalled for. Okay no more feeding the Trolls for me!
What???!!!
First off, this thread has nothing to do with thoroughbred horses. Just so you know...
Secondly, the intent of my reply to Bill's post wasn't to put down his "light" humor (frankly, if I were him I'd be more miffed by your assessment of his joke than my own response), but rather to merely extend the laughs on a more coarse level.
Sorry for upsetting your finely balanced sensibilities, but its kind of tough for me in this sort of setting whatwith me living under a bridge and all...
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Bill from WA
- Breeder's Cup Contender
- Posts: 1936
- Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2004 11:20 am
- Location: Mountlake Terrace, WA
hi Mahubah
You wrote "...a reporter from the Gainesville Sun posted the question to a University of Florida linebacker as to which were smarter, the linebackers from Vanderbilt University or those from the University of Florida. The reply (which probably answered the question whether the UF guy realized it or not): "I don't know how smart their linebackers is."
Very funny...but he'll probably be a first round NFL draft pick and receive a $5mil signing bonus...
...and have the last laugh
Best to you,
Respectfully
You wrote "...a reporter from the Gainesville Sun posted the question to a University of Florida linebacker as to which were smarter, the linebackers from Vanderbilt University or those from the University of Florida. The reply (which probably answered the question whether the UF guy realized it or not): "I don't know how smart their linebackers is."
Very funny...but he'll probably be a first round NFL draft pick and receive a $5mil signing bonus...
...and have the last laugh
Best to you,
Respectfully
FOS wrote:hi Mahubah
You wrote "...a reporter from the Gainesville Sun posted the question to a University of Florida linebacker as to which were smarter, the linebackers from Vanderbilt University or those from the University of Florida. The reply (which probably answered the question whether the UF guy realized it or not): "I don't know how smart their linebackers is."
Very funny...but he'll probably be a first round NFL draft pick and receive a $5mil signing bonus...
...and have the last laugh
Except the Vandy LB right ahead of him will be laughing even harder...if he doesn't end up owning the team that the Florida guy goes to. After all, at Vanderbilt, a favorite football cheer for many years has been, That's all right, that's OK, you're gonna work for US someday!"
"A man who was merely a man and said the sort of things Jesus said would not be a great moral teacher...You must make your choice. Either this man was, and is, the Son of God: or else a madman or something worse." C. S. Lewis