Please join me in remembering a great icon of the
entertainment community. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a
yeast infection,and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was
71. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children,
John Dough and Jane Dough, who has a bun in the oven. He is also
survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart.
Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Buttersworth,
Hungry Jack, The California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies
and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours.
Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, and lovingly described
Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded.
Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very smart "cookie", wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he still, as a
crusty old man, was considered a roll model for millions.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
