Am Very Sad...And Apparently Co-Dependent

Heidilady · Postby **Heidilady** » Wed Jul 30, 2008 9:24 pm

Don't offer to teach me how to swim, it could cause you to move to another state. A girl in my apartment complex had a series of tragedies and a breakup that caused her to move closer to her family...on the other coast. Another classmate of mine who's older, married, with a kid had to move to be with her husband at his new job in a neighboring state after he got downsized out of his old one, now she's gone. What do they have in common? Both figured it was silly that I as an adult can't swim and offered to teach me. I went and actually got a bathing suit a week ago, I was all excited to invite the second friend to bring her son to the complex's pool while I practiced. Now I'm miserable. I have one other pretty close friend at school, but she's from Canada and has fun every year trying to get funding so who knows how long my luck's gonna hold out with that one. My best friend's engaged, is two years younger than me, and lives in DC. She tries to stay in touch, but honestly there's no way she's up til midnight on AIM anymore. So basically I drive everyone away, both literally and emotionally. :cry:

I need a hug.

serenarider · Postby **serenarider** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 2:42 am

Aww here is a hug for you :wink:

Even though your friends are far away there still close in your heart

Bedouwia · Postby **Bedouwia** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 4:04 am

Hey girl, you put on that swimming suit anyway.... even if you don't figure out how to swim, the water is cool and nice in the summertime. And who knows, you might meet some new friends at the pool.

As an old lady, let me assure you that you will have hundreds, if not thousands, of friends during your life time. Each one is a bonus. Love and enjoy them all.

In the meantime, "here's a hug" from a virtual friend.

Bedouwia

pfrsue · Postby **pfrsue** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:19 am

Well heck, I'm not a very good swimmer, so I can't offer to teach you how. That means we can be friends, right?

Seriously, I know what it's like when your best friends move/live far away. *hugs*

going4stamina · Postby **going4stamina** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:11 am

I am sorry your friends are not close by any longer. They will still be dear to you. Hugs sent. Chin Up! Does your school offer a swim class? Have a local YMCA? I bet you can get some swim lessons and meet some people there. Exercise is good for your head, body and soul--and a great way to meet people. Maybe there is a horse rescue or TB retirement somewhere nearby? Horse lovers are lovely people!

When I finished college I moved miles and miles away from anybody I knew to take a job. You sound like a very caring person--more friends will be yours soon

. Give them a chance, and yourself a break.

louis finochio · Postby **louis finochio** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:28 am

Love & Peace & lots of Hugs do wonders to lift a persons spirit. If you ever need a friend or the need to talk to someone PM me & I will be your friend for life, as we both share the love of our Tb. Kiss a Frog, Hug a Tree & think of Me. LOL Louis.

tammysinnett · Postby **tammysinnett** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 7:51 am

Here is a hug and know that everyone on this board is a true friend.......I have gone through my midlife crisis here with everyone....no one seemed to mind they just picked me up when I was down. If if feel bad I write and someone always is here to listen . We are horse people the most caring people in the world.....if you have a horse nearby go visit....it heals the heart more than anything .....if thats not possible then stay right here with us......Tammy and her horse Summit Climber

Diane · Postby **Diane** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 11:41 am

Hormones!!!!
I moved to SoCal 9yrs ago after living my whole life in central ca. It was 3 yrs before I met a friend who I had an instant bond with, collies and horses. She mentioned wanting to move closer to her aging folks and I happened to introduce her to another friend who was a realtor. One year later she was gone!!
Gillian from You Are What You Eat on BBCA has taught me that reaching for the Ben and Jerry's isn't the best thing for me and my hormones so I'll just say have a B vitamin and it will get better. Hug from Diane

Prairie · Postby **Prairie** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 1:17 pm

(((Hugs))) to you, Heidilady!

I know what it's like to have family and good friends at a distance--it can be pretty lonely.
I love Bedouwia's comment about friends--keep it in mind (I sure will!).

Keep in touch with your far-away friends, but work on finding some new buddies. In the meantime, you always have pedigreequery friends!

nferro9925 · Postby **nferro9925** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 2:47 pm

**Hugs**

**Hugs**

Can you try water wings to help with bouyancy (?) also YMCA has classes
either very cheap or FREE! :lol:

Walking around in the pool is great exercise too and you can hold on the edge and kick like crazy!!

Mahubah · Postby **Mahubah** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 4:17 pm

Hugs sent!!! and second the bit about the YMCA. They do a great job with swimming lessons geared to all levels of expertise. And if you're in with a bunch of little "guppies," don't worry about it -- they'll think you're cool for trying.

Barbaro06 · Postby **Barbaro06** » Thu Jul 31, 2008 5:18 pm

More hugs for Heidi....

Don't be afraid to give swimming a try...the Y is a great idea. Check 'em out!

And yes, you got your friends here at the query to give 'ya advice and hugs galore!!!

teb · Postby **teb** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 10:52 pm

Well I know how you feel!!! I moved to Ireland 7 years ago and left everything behind family and friend wise. And if I'm to be quite honest having friends over here is quite difficult for me really. I don't have the bond and interests of my friends back home and I just don't find hanging out at the pub everyday very interesting. I have one good friend and some aquaintances. But really I feel very alone.

I have only just gotten back in touch with some of my friends from old. I'm afraid once you leave America, you are gone for good. And if I'm not making the phone calls, we don't talk. I had gotten fet up with this whole routine and lost touch for a few years. Now I'm back emailing and don't feel so lost.

Our job is at home with the horses so I'm limited in making friends at work. You travel the same circuit with people, but at the same time when you are trying to make a living at the very same thing, you end up with contempt. Meaning if you start doing better than them, they get put out. And as outsiders coming in to the TB game and doing better than someone else who has been here years, well you won't have friends for long.

So, get on your bathing suit, and learn to swim. You'd actually find it very funny to know most of Ireland is full of non swimmers! Too bloody cold to learn to swim. Do anything to cheer yourself up no matter how small. I had so much adjusting to do when I moved here and just wanted to cry all the time, but I'm good and I'm happy with the life I've built. My good friends are still my good friends and I'm happy at renewing my old friendships. I'm still the same to them as they are to me even if I can't see them all the time.

Sending you a big cyber hug!!!!!!

Terri

Heidilady · Postby **Heidilady** » Fri Aug 01, 2008 11:53 pm

Aw thanks guys! Feeling better thanks to all the hugs.

Hey Terri, maybe the part of me that's Scottish and Irish is the real reason I never learned to swim. I'm a throwback! :lol:

I'm certainly pale enough and have lousy teeth. Not so far fetched eh?

Patuxet · Postby **Patuxet** » Sat Aug 02, 2008 2:06 pm

Wasn't the section titled OFF TOPIC - Everyday Life - Discuss family, work, etc. created just for this sort of thing?

Pedigree Query

Am Very Sad...And Apparently Co-Dependent

Am Very Sad...And Apparently Co-Dependent

this is the best place for friends