This is totally off topic, but . . .work woes

[Toccet02]

What would you do if you worked with someone who literally made you see red? I have a headache due to supressed rage right now. And I can't scream at her because I'm not like that, and it does no good. She's just an intolerable haughty lazy ignorant snob who smacks her lips disgustingly.
Right now she's eating so I must leave. Getting my hooves, uh, nails done. Seeing a Bway play tonight! Something NYC natives almost never do.
Can someone lend me a cute foal to bring my blood pressure down? Thanks for letting me vent.

[ak1]

Hmmm...if I could not vent vocally, I'd be throwing my koosh ball against the wall. Sorry to hear that things are a bit frustrating today...Hope you enjoy going to the show--that sounds like great fun!!

In all seriousness, is this individual just annoying or is there a problem that could potentially be resolved which would alleviate your stress?

And I realize using the word "stress" is probably being kind from the sounds of it!

[Arctic Cielo]

What about turning on the radio and turning it up?

[clh]

Hey - enjoy the show and the mannie - wish I could get a mannie but I gave up that treat when I quit my real job And you got a foal this week - what more do ya want???

Is this a co-work or are you a manager of this person? If you are a manager - have a sit-down immediately. If you a are a co-worker try a sit down and talk about the issues that are "of concern" to you and if that doesn't work talk to the manager. Unfortunately if this person is doing their job and it is just a personality thing sometimes there isn't much that can be done other than ignore them completely. I am so blessed that I don't have to go to an office every day and deal with those problems anymore. Managing six departments in a major hospital with over 35 employees (all women) was a pain in my a** to say the least.

And if all else fails - open a can of whoop-ass on her

[Toccet02]

What about turning on the radio and turning it up?

Oh yeah. Do every day.

She is a co-worker who seems to THINK she is my manager, but we're parallel.

I ignore her whenever I can, but if I get mad enough, words just fly out of my mouth and I just watch it happen.

I swear though...the thing she did today; I felt my lower lids twich upward and things looked pink/red for a minute. I'm not kidding. Must be where the expression comes from!

Oh, forget it. Life IS good. I am lucky. And I have Mauve Mystique on. (The stupider the name, the better).

I guess I kind of "hotwalked" myself! Feel much better.
Thanks all!

[habitat]

just let out a good belch while she's chewing her cud.

[Mahubah]

Amazing how some folks have the hide of a rhino regarding other people's sensibilities, but let their own little toesies get tromped on, and they become more sensitive than the storybook princess and her pea. Alas, I haven't any magic cures for terminal jerkiness -- if I did, I'd be a multimillionaire. That, and I would have cured my previous boss (my current one, thank goodness, is terrific) and her even more obnoxious secretary, both of whom are mercifully gone. (You know people are getting on your nerves at work when you have to take time off for an emergency dental procedure and realize as you are walking into the dentist's office that you feel more relaxed and happier there than you do at your job.)

Hang in there, Toccet -- this too shall pass. If truly desperate, silicone earplugs work pretty well too. (I use them to block out my husband's snoring.)

One former boss of mine used to refer to total jerks as having a diagnosis of "Obnoxious Personality Disorder." Too bad we can't get the American Psychiatric Association to give it the official stamp of approval.

[angelsprite]

Toccet,
I feel for you. The way I handle people I can't avoid who are not family and just rub me totally the wrong way is to just satisfy myself by realizing they will have their share of troubles and annoyances in their lives, mostly brought on by their own attitude. I then go into the, "It takes all kinds to make a world," philosophy. And I finish up by making a sincere effort to empathize, put myself in their place, wonder what it took to make them deal with their insecurities in the annoying ways that they do.
In the end, we are all wrong about our fellow man (or woman) anyway. It doesn't really matter what we think, people are people and they are never going to be the way we wish they would be, any more than we want to be the way others think we should be. These annoyances will exist no matter where we go. But without people, even annoying people, what would life be?
If all these philosophical ramblings don't help, throwing metal spoons at the floor while screaming in rage helps a lot. Spoons don't break when you throw them, but they make a really satisfying crashing sound and with your vocals added to it, you can relieve a ton of stress without hurting anyone. Just don't throw the spoons at people or anything living.

[geowarrior]

Toccet, once in a while I think it's ok to lose your cool (although whenever I do I wish afterward I'd done it in private).

Ask yourself these questions:

Are you afraid of her?
Is she preventing you from doing your job in a major way?
Is she damaging your reputation with colleagues and superiors?

If any of these things are true then perhaps you should explore options for action.

If none are true then she seems fairly pathetic - insecure, social skills slightly off base (i.e. lips). Sounds to me as though you have the higher ground and you should remember that.

[wilf]

I would never work with someone who was dumb enough to work with someone like me! As a longtime life observer I have found that the lower you go, the harder it is. Get out of a situation that is a negative area and shoot high then you will strive for the better. Toccet was a badly placed runner who could have done better! Change your Avatar for a start. What do I know? Another loser looking for an audience!

[Lucy]

What would you do if you worked with someone who literally made you see red?

I work with several....and I'm in retail. Let's just say I've become very good at channeling anger.

Geowarrior pretty much said it all, but sometimes, it also helps to go home and, say, vent on a message board. Heck, I'll type things out and never send them, because just the act of composing the e-mail helped enough.

Seeing a Bway play tonight! Something NYC natives almost never do.

Oooooo, lucky!! What show?

[Rokeby Forever]

After a full day of aggravation, I find that writing posts that beat up on Unbridled's Song is very relaxing. Try it some time - he's an easy enough target!

[madelyn]

Does she eat at her desk? I imagine that is where the lip smacking, probably drooling and generally poor etiquette is occurring. I remember the helpless feeling in a cubicle, with isolation but no privacy, and being subjected to the audio torture by my neighbors.

If this is the case, the next time this occurs, you might take about fifteen deep breaths (breathe in peachy keen pink kindness, breathe out deep green anger). Then, appear at her desk complete with a business card from a dentist. Make very sympathetic noises, hand her the card, and say something to the effect of, "I'm really sorry for you that your teeth are so bad that you can't manage your food well. It must be REALLY embarrassing for you in restaurants, so I guess you have no choice but to eat here in the office. Here's the card for a great dentist, and I think he's not too expensive. I really hope you can afford to get help for that."

[Toccet02]

Thanks guys...you made me laugh (and think)

Wilf---Toccet was ruined by his connections (Ray Kerrison agrees with me on that FWIW) and yeah, maybe that's a bad symbol for an avatar/handle...but I firmly believe he's an awesome genetic specimen and besides, he just had a spark! He also really ramped up my interest in the game so in that sense he's a a great handle/avatar for here.

I can pretty much laugh this woman off. I think she's insecure and pathetic, and she has no power to damage me. I just don't GET her and her very presence is like nails on a chalkboard. I have asked my boss if I can work at home some days (I have a long commute so it makes sense), and the answer is a yes (boss ain't crazy bout this lady either).

Oh my God you should hear her chewing gum!


Anyway, saw Curtains, an excellent funny surprising show. Whodunnit, Bway making-fun-of-itself musical.

Roke; thanks for the advice but I just don't hate him the way you do. I must confess that I liked Buddah for the Derby before his scratch days before.

[Lucy]

Anyway, saw Curtains, an excellent funny surprising show. Whodunnit, Bway making-fun-of-itself musical.

Keen! I'm a big Kandor & Ebb fan so I've been wondering about that one....keep waiting for the songs to start turning up on satellite radio. Who'd have guessed David Hyde Pierce could sing?

Anyway, working from home seems ideal. Hope that works out well for everybody.