It may be time...

[Roguelet]

He's not a Thoroughbred, but the first horse I ever owned and the inspiration behind my "call name" is an Andalusian named "Rogue."

He has done something to his leg; the vet is scheduled to come out tomorrow. There is no outward sign of injury but he's non-weight bearing and there is some slight swelling. He's got a support wrap on and I'm keeping him pumped up with Banamine, but he does not want to move on it at all. He's currently lying in the sun; he's alert, will eat/drink anything I put in front of him, and appears to be very comfortable like that. He does a lot of lying down anyway, so that in itself is not a concern, but I'm not certain he can easily get up. I see no reason to force him to try at the moment.

This past year he's been hard to keep weight on for the first time ever. He's still got that impish fire that earned him his name; he has always been one ridiculously tough horse in body and mind, but I'm afraid that his age is catching up to him. I'm hoping that the vet will find something minor and fixable, maybe a twist or slight strain, but I'm not overly optimistic. I have been aware in the back of my mind that his time was going to come sooner than later, and I'm afraid it might be here now.

I have no real point in posting this... just sort of wanted to "share." Rogue is 30 years old and he's been with me 21 of those 30 years. He went to college with me, moved to Indiana with me, and accompanied me on many a trail ride, jump course, parade, poker ride, camping trip, competitive trail ride, swimming expedition, etc. He was a circus horse before I got him, and in his younger days he tolerated me showing off his spanish walk, rear, and bow to anyone who would watch. He also got us kicked out of several boarding facilities (back to the "earning the name" thing.) I quit riding for the most part about 8 years ago, but both of my kids have enjoyed the occasional seat on his back as he grazes...

With any luck he'll still be with me for a while more, but in case I get bad news from the vet tomorrow, I just wanted to post a little tribute and get myself prepared.

[Bondama]

Oh, Rogue, I can read the fear in your post, and it moves my heart. Prayers for your longtime friend and companion, and comfort for you, no matter what the outcome. Keep us posted.

[Toccet02]

Beautifully said, Bondama, and in my clumsy way let me add that I don't think such posts are "pointless" at all. They remind those of us who have never been lucky enough to own a horse how wonderful they are. Best of outcomes with the vet tomorrow.

[Tiz]

Few things will produce a three legged lameness. One of them is a hoof abscess. If the filling is down low, that wouldn't be an uncommon symptom of it.

[Roguelet]

It appears that he has not actually injured his leg... I think. It seems instead that he just can't feel the leg; almost as if he's had a stroke. He does not appear to be in any pain at all. It's been a very long day, and it's going to be an even longer day tomorrow waiting for the vet.

[ratherrapid]

Nice story. I enjoyed reading. They become part of us. Best of luck!

[Vindicated]

How dreadful the waiting is...
It is lovely how you cherish your longtime friend, you are both lucky to have each other.

My thoughts are with you tonight, and hope for a good prognosis-or an easy decision (Which they seldom are of course).

Please keep us updated...and all sorts of positive thoughts coming your way...

[madelyn]

Hope it turns out all right.

[Diane]

Hugs

[Lisann]

Prayers for you and healing, pain-free thoughts for Rogue.

[Laurierace]

I think this is something we all live in fear of. I hope you two still have some good times together.

[foundationmare]

Situations like this always bring me to tears. I know how much you love Rogue because I've experienced the same love and know how difficult it is to prepare for the time when he will exist in memories only. Perhaps now is not that time and you will share more adventures with your special guy. I hope so!

Whatever happens, you know that there's a gang of us here who understand that love for a horse does not require explanation or apologies. All best wishes to you and Rogue.

[Roguelet]

I really *knew* that this was going to end up the way it did, but I guess I was still holding out some sliver of hope that Rogue would just live forever.

It turns out that he did have a broken elbow, and I had to have him put down last night. It was probably the single most difficult thing that I have ever had to do. Even though I knew it was the right thing to do, it was so difficult to make the decision to end the life of such a proud animal. Even the vets, who had never seen Rogue before last night, were amazed at his stoic toughness and complete refusal to allow any pain to show through to us. Even while the vets were examining his leg and moving it in directions that it should not be able to move, Rogue never once flinched, pulled away, or even laid back an ear.

After the sedation started to take effect, we helped him lay down, which he did gracefully and without fighting. Then, when he was fully "out," they gave the injection to stop his heart. While we were waiting for everything to take effect, one of the vets asked what breed he was, and when I replied that he was an Andalusian, he commented that every Andalusian that he had ever met had been tough.

Rogue was true to his breed; tough but kind, insanely intelligent, and proud far beyond anything I've seen in any other horse. We did so much together; he was even harnessed up to a cart at my wedding to pull us away from the ceremony. Even in his retired years, he kept the Thoroughbred stud colts in their place and taught them respect and manners.

I always had some silly fantasy that he would make it into the record books as the oldest living horse; I just never could wrap my mind around the idea that one day he would really be gone. He lived a proud 30 years and I was so honored to be a part of the last 21 years of his life. I have been going through photos of him today and thought I'd share a few of him from our "younger days."

Here he is showing off one of my favorite circus tricks:


And here we are in the VA Tech homecoming parade my senior year:


I want to thank everyone who has shown their support. No matter how many horses I have known and will know in the future, and no matter how special many of them have been and will be, there will never be another horse, ever, who will match this level of attachment for me, and your support is very comforting.

[madelyn]

Dangit, Rogue, you made me cry. I am So Very Sorry - it sounds trite to say I think I know how it feels, like a piece of your heart was cut out, but I think I do. I think the only way to avoid outliving our animals would be to raise elephants - but heck you think MARE foal watch is long and nearly interminable? How about two years?

I have never yet in my life, been fortunate enough to be in a position to own one single equine for as long as you had your Rogue and for that I envy you. Both of you were lucky to have each other.

[Lisann]

**hugs**